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French Etiquette

French etiquette Posted 07 January 2006
French etiquette
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The French have some very formal rules about manners and etiquette.

Meeting people

The French shake hands almost whenever they meet, and always when meeting someone for the first time or for business. Arriving at work in the morning, it is quite common to greet colleagues with a handshake, and to shake hands again when leaving.

Greeting anyone familiar is also usually begun with a crisp handshake
Greeting anyone familiar — like a favourite restaurant waiter or a next-door neighbour — is also usually begun with a crisp handshake.

When colleagues know each other well, and in situations between friends, women will often greet each other, and male colleagues or friends, with a kiss on the cheek. Beware - don't take the first step if you are uncertain, but be ready to embrace!

The choice of vous and tu to say "you" in French is confusing, and sometimes very subtle. But a simple rule is that the more intimate tu is only employed amongst family and friends. It is common for work colleagues to say tu, but wait until someone else does it first.

Socialising

An aperitif is usually sipped and stops at two
A common way of getting to know someone is to have a drink together. But the French are not into bar binges, and an aperitif is usually sipped and stops at two.

Wine accompanies dinner and never replaces it, and a glass is filled to three-quarters, never to the brim.

Dinner guests are expected to bring a gift, however modest, and this is usually a bottle of wine, flowers, or a pre-agreed desert or cheese dish. The French keep their arms above the table, not in their lap.

Essential formalities

While people in France can sometimes appear to behave impolitely, the use of polite form in language is sacrosanct. When addressing a stranger, always add Monsieur or Madame, as in Excusez-moi, madame if asking directions.

When writing any formal letter it is usual to end with a declaration of respect
A typical gesture of politeness, which becomes the opposite if you don't apply it, is to let another person pass through a door first, and a man always gives way to a woman. If someone gives way to you, it is common to thank them or say pardon. Asking pardon is often a devalued term, and can be used in restrained anger, as when you move someone out of your way.

The French may be proud of being republicans, but they still love titles! All sorts of people, and especially politicians, expect their position to be recognised. When addressing the local mayor, it is usual to say Monsieur (or Madame) le maire. A policeman is Monsieur l'agent.

When writing any formal letter, even to the phone company, it is usual to end it, before signing, with a declaration of respect, a longer version of “Yours sincerely”. A common phrase which can be used in most situations is: Veuillez accepter, madame (or monsieur), mes salutations distinguées.
Paris Expat

Posted 13 September 2008
Also, I would like to pay men's attention to the fact that French women don't shave their underarms. So it's normal, don't be scared. :)
Maximus
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Posted 14 September 2008
It is just myth. I don't believe it is true
Elis
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Re: French etiquette Posted 09 June 2010
LOL! @ maximus's comment! that has really been a common joke about French women, however i don't think there is any truth to that; if you do find one that would just be one out of thousands! The Frrench women are beautiful and exuding with confidence..

Thanks Paris expat! Thanks for sharing that info.. I felt like i had a quick lesson at not just French etiquette but etiquette in general.. hope you keep them coming! :mrgreen:
lsea_717
Paris forums Member
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Re: French etiquette Posted 26 July 2010
Paris Expat wrote:French etiquette
The choice of vous and tu to say "you" in French is confusing, and sometimes very subtle. But a simple rule is that the more intimate tu is only employed amongst family and friends. It is common for work colleagues to say tu, but wait until someone else does it first.


Hi, I am French and I would like to add something about the choice of "vous" and "tu" ("you"). As you said, the "tu" is only employed amongst family and friends... and sometimes colleages. So when should you start to say "tu" to your French colleages? The answer is simple : once you feel closed enough to him/her. Don't hesitate to fisrt employ the "tu" if you feel confident about it. The point is, if you only use the "vous" in France, you will never get closed to anybody because the "vous" is not a mark of friendship. But if you do, then you will be able to figure out that French people are actually not as cold or rude as some foreigners say.

Cheers!
maomao
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Re: French etiquette Posted 07 August 2010
great..
seodinah
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Re: French etiquette Posted 05 December 2010
"Tutoyage" is one of the great traps for a foreigner in France. Many younger people and even older people on the Left use "tu" so freely that you are regarded as a bit stiff if you don't. But in some more traditional families, parents say "tu" not only to their children (of any age) but to their friends and expect "vous" from all of these.

There are a few rules of etiquette here, but the real rules shift with the crowd you're in and can be very anxiety provoking. Even for the French sometimes, I think.

I also worked with an executive once who would "tutoyer" people when he wanted something, but got very formal as soon as he didn't. :)

In theory too you would tutoyer someone who serves you (like a waiter), but that too could be a dicey principle these days. And some waiters of course will just tutoyer YOU as a matter of course if you seem to be their age (young, that is).

Brett Tonaille
BrettTonaille
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