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Love life after marriage on Paris forum


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Maximus
I approached an age when a man has to think about getting married. I had more than enough girls so I want now something more serious. But, I'm afraid whether I can do it or not. I'm afraid to get marry and divorce the next day. What would you suggest me? Shall I get married?
tulaka
You can first try living moving together with that girl, after, if your relations are still good, you can get married.
Cold_as_ice
Marriage is an important step in one's life. I believe it requires a lot of seriousness. Normally, if you marry, you shouldn't divorce. Make sure she's the one you need, otherwise it will leave you a black print on your soul and heart.
Maximus
I heard that after a couple gets married, problems invade it just the way tsunami invades an island. Common household things weaken the relation and love could disappear.
tulaka
There is a bit of true in what you're saying, Maximus. One thing I can tell you for sure, prepare to have less sex. These daily family activities leave no place for romantic things.
Cold_as_ice
Less sex is just a classical way of thinking. Modern couples are always doing the thing even after a long time of marriage. Though, the love could gain less obvious outlines after a couple of marriage years.
tulaka
A true love lasts forever, people say. However I saw no couple who live together for a long time and have the same affection towards each other as in the first time. It's all about being used to somebody, but definitely not love.
Cold_as_ice
Nevertheless, being used to a person is much better than to live for a while and then divorce. It's important to maintain respect towards the one you are married on.
Maximus
This is exactly what I'm afraid of, CAI. I don't want the feeling to evaporate. Is it possible to be married for, let's say 4 years, and to love that person the same strongly as during the first months of relationship?
barcelonaar
  • Maximus wrote:
    I approached an age when a man has to think about getting married. I had more than enough girls so I want now something more serious. But, I'm afraid whether I can do it or not. I'm afraid to get marry and divorce the next day.
    What would you suggest me? Shall I get married?

When you meet THE GIRL, you'll marry her. I used to think the same as you since I knew my bf. Now I want to marry him in a few years.
Cold_as_ice
Barca why do you want to wait another few years? Do it now. Enjoy your family life now. Or maybe you want to have more fun and after get married?
barcelonaar
  • Cold_as_ice wrote:
    Barca why do you want to wait another few years? Do it now. Enjoy your family life now. Or maybe you want to have more fun and after get married?

Because he lives very far from me right now. 1000KM far! He lives in Cordoba (Spain) and I live in Barcelona (Spain). He will move to Barcelona next year... We have to wait right now.
Maximus
oh, I understand you. But you may get an apartment for rent, not necessary to buy one. Why don't you move to Cordoba now?
barcelonaar
  • Maximus wrote:
    oh, I understand you. But you may get an apartment for rent, not necessary to buy one. Why don't you move to Cordoba now?

Because I have a great work right now... He wants to move to Barcelona because he love the city and his work is not as good as mine. He wants a new life here with me. So we are waiting untill he gets a job here
Cold_as_ice
I think you should move together now. When you're far away from each other it makes the love unstable. You take the risk that he could meet another person and fall in love. Be careful
barcelonaar
  • Cold_as_ice wrote:
    I think you should move together now. When you're far away from each other it makes the love unstable. You take the risk that he could meet another person and fall in love. Be careful

:sad: I know. Don't tell me that, please. It's too hard to me.
Cold_as_ice
sorry, I haven't really thought about your feelings when I wrote that. But, still, how do you manage to keep your relations at this distance? It would be tough for me...
tulaka
During the first two years, the husband spends a lot of time with his friends, in spite of his wife's prohibition. It's difficult to get rid of old habits, you know. The practice proves that in most cases, wives don't find a common language with his old pals.
barcelonaar
We see us twice a month. He was in Barcelona for ten days and the past weekend I went to Cordoba to spend a few days more. Now he will come back in 20 days...
tulaka
The question: Life after marriage or marriage after life? :) Very smart words, think about it
barcelonaar
Hahaha, good one, tulaka! :cool:
Maximus
After getting married, I think we should be ready to solve the problems together, even if it doesn't regards our partner at all. After marriage - what was only your personal, becomes yours, both.
tulaka
There is definitely no good life after, let's say, 10 years of marriage, unless the second breathe opens. It's impossible that two persons live together this period of time and are not yet sick of each other.
Maximus
Marriage is believed to be a good prerequisite for a lasting and happy life. If you love your partner during the marriage period, you will feel always healthy and powerful. Marriage is a guarantee against loneliness. Regardless of whether you are young or old, your partner will always be staying next to you. Moreover, marriage means financial stability. The status of being married makes the man seek permanent opportunities for maintaining the family, that's why a happy family means a more or less wealthy family.
road-finder
  • tulaka wrote:
    There is definitely no good life after, let's say, 10 years of marriage, unless the second breathe opens. It's impossible that two persons live together this period of time and are not yet sick of each other.

You won't get sick of each other if you'll have children in time :wink:
aimhigh
  • Maximus wrote:
    I heard that after a couple gets married, problems invade it just the way tsunami invades an island. Common household things weaken the relation and love could disappear.

Make sure that you really love each other before getting married because i believe if you really love each other whatever problems might occur even if its stronger than tsunami you'll remain till death. i myself don't believe in divorce although i am practical but if you can still save the marriage and talk about the problems why not. Love will never disappear if it is real. As time goes and you know each other deeply you'll see many differences but you'll learn to accept that if there's LOVE.




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